i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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