i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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