if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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