where does the pee come out of this thing
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
