I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
