I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
