i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Panties = found
Randomize
