hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I am midnight drunk by noon
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is my gift to your gina
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
