New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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