This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
