Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
