So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
