real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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