he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
