Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
