I hate your face
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
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