she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
