And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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