I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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