i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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