Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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