he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
FUCK WHALES
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize