You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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