how can u be prego again
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize