i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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