problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
