What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
