finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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