I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
