Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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