Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
