ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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