First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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