PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
