Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will be naked everywhere
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
