Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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