1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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