I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
