I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
