its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
