Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
