My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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