I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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