Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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