never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
