# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
