Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
