I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Everyone says I win the strip club
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize