I'm gonna have a badass scar
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
