I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
