Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
