I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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