i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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