I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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