you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
