i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
