You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
