Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
