): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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