it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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