My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
