Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize