If that was your dad, he is hot
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
