You're completely useless in the revolution.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
