the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
