I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
