Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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