Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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